The latest front in this cultural war revolves around whether being a Stay-At-Home-Mom (SAHM) is a real job—defined by some as any work outside the home in the dog-eat-dog
marketplace. My take? I take issue with those who regard staying home or housework as the prerogative of just women. What about us Stay-At-Home-Dads (SAHDs)?
Admittedly my situation is slightly different, in that I am a dad, not a mom, choosing to stay home. You might think it’s sad to be a SAHD, but I do feel appreciated by my working wife for all that I do on the home front. (And let me add that she’d better keep working, so that I can long enjoy the lifestyle to which I have grown accustomed.)
What galls me is that no one in this ongoing culture war on women is asking the reciprocal question about dads. No pundit or parent has jumped into the fray to attack or defend us SAHDs.
All true. But you would also be wrong. This active dad emails his kids most every day on everything from job-hunting tips to the latest camping adventure. And who said being unemployed and looking for work isn’t a job in itself? Job No. 1 is looking for a job. True, I would love to get an out-of-the-home job, but I make the most of my extended homestay by staying in practice serving others.
And those are just my dad duties. Never mind that the ones for whom I play the dutiful dad are my two adopted standard poodles. I worry just as much when they are sick as any bio parent, perhaps more so, because they can’t tell me what’s wrong. (But have I just vitiated my own argument that I belong in the same camp with the stay-at-home-moms? Perhaps.)
I will no longer disparage stay-at-home types. I feel certain sympathy for SAHMs. However, if I appear sad at being a SAHD, it’s that I don’t like the slur on Ann Romney’s chosen career, as they could just as easily be talking about me. But what we do at home is a real job. You other SAHD cases will surely agree.
Join me as I do my part to deflect some of the war on women, by bringing it on myself: When others alternately attack/defend stay-at-home-moms, why not also take on the stay-at-home-dads? Bring it on.